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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

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My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

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4,043

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Shared recently on YouTube:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"You're the reason my floodlight has trust issues! 😂💡 #AlwaysOnGuard"

affection, gift, humor, humor quote, light-hearted, metaphor, playful, romantic, sensitive, wind

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

1 month ago
brave, dating, else, feelings, love, relationship, someone, someone else, tell, watch
Enjoy the time between diapers!

1 month ago
baby, diapers, enjoy, enjoyment, humor, life, moments, parenting, time
Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

1 month ago
again, back, beauty, confidence, faith, fine, high, high school, humor, i, justice, lose, nostalgia, reflection, school, today, whenever
There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

2 months ago
challenge, chaos, class, control, days, education, hug, humor, teaching, tornado, trying
Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

1 month ago
computer, humor, internet, joke, love, pun, relationship, tech
Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

5 months ago
age, aging, eating, food, foods, getting, getting older, humor, just, means, older, sad, sad food, start

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Breaking via X:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Trending via Messenger:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

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Activity Log ✨

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

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You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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