Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Just landed via Slack:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Spotted on Telegram:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Breaking via Threads:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you finally realize the laundry pile is secretly multiplying at night… 🧺🔄🧦

behind, chore, daily, daily task, day, every, household, humor, laundry, procrastination, still, task

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

0

2 months ago

delusional, describe, enough, humor, people, perception, reality, strong, word
In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

0

6 months ago

20, anyone, car, comparison, confusion, driving, fly, headlights, hop, humor, i, just, knows, minutes, movie, movie comparison, rental, rental car, spaceship, spent, star, Star Wars, trying, wars
Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, boss, going, home, honesty, humor, i, joke, miscommunication, prank, say, told, workplace
I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

0

2 months ago

hair, humor, i, mouth, much, self-deprecation, volume, wish
If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, i, joke, laugh, self-deprecation, wit, yourself
Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

0

2 months ago

children, cold, example, giving, humor, kids, me, parenting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

34 shares on WeChat this month:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

39 shares on X this month:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Going bananas on Slack:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Just shared via WeChat:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨