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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

2 hours ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Trending via Facebook:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Shared recently on X:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Making waves on Twitch:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Just landed via Facebook:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Making waves on Instagram:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Making waves on Reddit:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

6 months ago

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dentist's dilemma: the eternal battle between tasty treats and pristine teeth! 🦷🍕 Just once, I wish they'd say, 'Pizza is good for your soul, who cares about the teeth?' 😆🍕 Keep smiling and flossing, folks!"

advice, bad, dentist, drink, eat, food, health, humor, name, should, teeth, toothpaste, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

2 hours ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Just shared via TikTok:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Just landed via Twitch:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Broadcasted on Messenger:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Trending via Snapchat:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Seen just now on Slack:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Just landed via Instagram:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

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