Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Making waves on X:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Live now on TikTok:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Making waves on TikTok:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When rearranging the grocery store becomes a personal attack. I'm not ready for this level of adulting! 🛒😤

adult, anger, angry, catch, change, changes, frustration, getting, grocery, grocery store, layout, maturity, store, truly, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

0

2 months ago

activity, deep, deep fried, fair, food, fried, fun, fun activity, humor, novelty, Pokémon, real, satire, state, stick
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

0

2 months ago

hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, myself, over, sarcasm, self-deprecation, self-hate
So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, count, exercise, humor, just, motivation, sit-up, struggle, trying
Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

0

3 months ago

addiction, app, asked, bum, delete, deleted, humor, i, Instagram, media, phone, request, scroll, social, social media, someone, technology
I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

0

2 months ago

again, daily, daily life, exhaustion, humor, i, jokes, life, lighthearted, retirement, tired, today, yesterday
We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

0

2 months ago

comedy, disorderly, drunk, fun, humor, pairing, relationship, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t hate me, date me!

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

66 shares on Discord this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

31 shares on Twitch this month:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Seen just now on Discord:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Seen just now on Threads:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Just landed via Threads:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨