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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Going viral on Discord:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Just landed via Slack:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Just landed via Slack:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Just shared via YouTube:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Trending via YouTube:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your problems start floating above your bed, it’s time to call a different kind of doctor! 👻🛏️🔮

exorcist, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, need, therapist

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, fighting, free, free speech, humor, irony, mine, opinion, quiet, sarcasm, self-interest, silence, speech, yours
So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

0

3 months ago

afterlife, audition, Earth, heaven, hell, humor, philosophy
Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

0

2 months ago

activity, bro, friendship, fun, fun activity, good, humor, outdoor, river, rock, rocks, skipping, skipping rock, stop
Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

0

5 months ago

courtroom, culture, dance, defense, hammer, honor, humor, i, impression, joke, legal, misunderstanding, pop, pop culture, time, under
The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

0

1 month ago

aging, humor, i, just, mom, older, realization, realize, right, tone
Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

0

2 months ago

am, block, blocking, confidence, here, humor, hurricane, i, me, media, metaphor, playful, sarcasm, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Telegram this month:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

39 shares on Instagram this month:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

69 shares on Slack this month:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Live now on X:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Going viral on WeChat:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Shared recently on Threads:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

Making waves on Threads:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Making waves on Threads:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Breaking via Messenger:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨