You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

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I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.