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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

My lips could use some attention today.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Just shared via WeChat:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Just landed via Threads:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Live now on Threads:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Making waves on Messenger:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Trending via Reddit:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Making waves on Reddit:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate challenge: a parking garage maze vs. a fearless driver! 🚗💨 Enter at your own risk, but beware of the twists and turns. 🔄 Who will emerge victorious: the concrete structure or the indomitable human spirit? 🤔💥 #ParkingGarageWars"

confusion, fear, figure, garage, get out, humor, i, me, navigation, parking, parking garage, scare, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on X this month:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Seen just now on Discord:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Going viral on TikTok:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Spotted on Threads:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Spotted on Telegram:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Trending via Discord:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

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