Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,759

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Shared recently on Slack:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Shared recently on Threads:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Just shared via TikTok:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Breaking via Slack:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

4 weeks ago

Humorous quote about waking up impressed by a dream's storytelling brilliance.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm starting to think my dreams have better plot twists than most TV shows 🍿😴🎬

analysis, dream, dream analysis, dreams, ever, humor, impressed, narrative, narrative structure, sleep, structure, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

1 month ago

guys, humor, i, know, me, people, safe, secret, share, trust
You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

4 weeks ago

activity, age, cow, drive, driving, fun, fun activity, never, old, past, shout, too
Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

1 month ago

amateur, car, confidence, hoodie, humor, joke, real, steal, theft, woman
I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

1 month ago

20s, 25, 30s, 35, actually, age, decade, humor, life, life stage, perception, self, self-perception, stage
I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

1 month ago

advice, communication, early, humor, i, irony, just, learning, outcome, professional, sarcasm, say, told, workplace
Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

4 weeks ago

away, button, dog, explode, explosion, got, hell, humor, i, joke, just, microchip, pet, press, runs, technology

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

22 shares on Telegram this month:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

60 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Just shared via X:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Breaking via TikTok:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Breaking via Instagram:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Just shared via Reddit:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨