Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Just shared via Messenger:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Going viral on Facebook:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Going viral on Telegram:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Trending via Reddit:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

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Commentary:
I'm starting to think my dreams have better plot twists than most TV shows 🍿😴🎬

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Going bananas on Discord:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Going viral on Discord:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Making waves on Telegram:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Spotted on Threads:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

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