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"Who says parenting can't be fun and educational at the same time? 🤓🍸 Let's just hope the math problems don't start getting blurry after a few sips! 😂 #MathMomsGoneWild"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

1 month ago
before, chance, confidence, coworkers, dominance, humor, sarcasm, say, tired, work, workplace
Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

1 month ago
age, aging, always, am, humor, i, joke, old, older, sarcasm, wit
You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

1 month ago
bad, bad cook, cook, cooking, culinary, culinary skills, disaster, dog, humor, kitchen, kitchen disaster, know, lick, pet, plate, skills
Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

1 month ago
anger, chore, chores, doing, family, humor, invent, just, mad, mother, too
I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

5 months ago
flag, humor, material, quality, red, red flag, relationship, sarcasm
Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

4 weeks ago
after, bottom, career, geologist, hitting, humor, motivation, pun, resume, rock, rock bottom, self-improvement

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

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The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

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Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Making waves on Threads:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Shared recently on Slack:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Breaking via TikTok:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

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You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

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You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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