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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,903

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Spotted on Slack:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Going viral on X:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Trending via Reddit:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Making waves on YouTube:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Double the ibuprofen, double the fun! Just don’t mix up your GPS for the bathroom! 😂🏃‍♂️💊

50, aging, downstairs, health, ibuprofen, know, over, over 50, pain, pain relief, relief, upstairs

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

5 months ago
audience, communication, cornfield, feels, humor, joke, jokes, loneliness, media, screaming, social, social media, tweeting
A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

1 month ago
advances, bed, companionship, dog, every, humor, hurt, i, man, me, rejection, relationships, time
I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

1 month ago
annoyance, design, furniture, humor, i, inconvenience, issue, movement, moves, rush, take
If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

1 month ago
8K, activity, bowl, bring, fun, fun activity, gathering, humor, invitation, over, place, super, Super Bowl, TV, wants, watch
Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

1 month ago
accidentally, Amazon, buy, ever, impulse, impulse buy, money, online, online shopping, order, shopping, stress
I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

1 month ago
church, confession, guilt, humor, i, irony, joke, name, relationship, want

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Live now on TikTok:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Just shared via Twitch:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Trending via YouTube:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Making waves on Discord:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Trending via Discord:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

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Activity Log ✨

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

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You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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