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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

2 hours ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Freshly posted on Threads:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Making waves on X:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Shared recently on TikTok:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Just landed via Threads:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Reported on TikTok:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Trending via Twitch:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

6 months ago

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living in a city where seagulls are the fashionably exclusive bird poop connoisseurs – a true sign of elite urban living! 💁‍♂️🏙️ Who needs mundane pigeon droppings when you can boast a splash of seaside sophistication? Embrace the unexpected blessings from above, darling! 💩🕊️ #CityLivingElevated

anecdote, city, funny observation, great, humor, life, live, nature, observation, pigeon, seagull, urban, urban life, wildlife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

2 hours ago

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Making waves on X:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Spotted on Instagram:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Reported on Messenger:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Spreading quickly via X:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Seen just now on WeChat:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Just landed via X:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

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