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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Just shared via Facebook:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Live now on Messenger:

Your opinions are not my business.

Just landed via TikTok:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Just shared via Reddit:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Just shared via Reddit:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

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“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?
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Commentary:
Ah, the age-old question of exercise expectations! 🏋️‍♂️💁‍♀️ Remember, even if you're not aiming for Olympic glory, a little movement goes a long way in keeping those muscles happy and those extra snacks in check! 😄🍕 #CouchPotatoGoldMedal

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Reddit this month:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

36 shares on X this month:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

21 shares on Telegram this month:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Spotted on WeChat:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Freshly posted on X:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Spotted on Messenger:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Making waves on X:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Live now on Telegram:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

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