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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Just shared via X:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Just landed via Discord:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Just shared via Instagram:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Breaking via Instagram:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Making waves on Telegram:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Freshly posted on Threads:

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

1 month ago

Witty text about exercise humorously questioning Olympic standards in a playful way.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old question of exercise expectations! 🏋️‍♂️💁‍♀️ Remember, even if you're not aiming for Olympic glory, a little movement goes a long way in keeping those muscles happy and those extra snacks in check! 😄🍕 #CouchPotatoGoldMedal

30, activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, exercise, fitness, humor, least, minutes, motivation, much, okay, Olympics, routine, sarcasm, should, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

16 shares on Threads this month:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a vessel for various dips.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like ads, just skip.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Going viral on TikTok:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

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