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Commentary:
"Ah, Pilates – the workout so intense, it even has biblical origins! 💪🙏 Who knew getting those abs of steel could be so… divine? 😂 #HolyGains"

exercise, fitness, humor, Jesus, killed, me, Pilates, reference, religious, religious reference, sarcasm, thing, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

0

2 months ago

app, care, cat, cat sitter, cats, comedy, humor, Litterboxd, pet, pet care, review, sitter, start, take, technology, where
We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

0

2 months ago

carpet, cleaned, cleaning, dog, humor, just, pet, throw, throw up, today, waiting
Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

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2 months ago

bun, day, enough, exercise, hair, humor, just, lazy, lazy day, put, self-care, today, workout
Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

0

2 months ago

age, chicken, discomfort, every, hip, hours, humor, hurts, lay, minutes, position, remember, rotation, rotisserie, sleep
Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

0

2 months ago

better, better looking, confidence, happier, humor, looking, media, people, posts, self-promotion, show, smarter, social, social media, study
Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

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2 months ago

body, body signal, brain, digestion, empty, food, humor, hunger, signal, stomach

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

75 shares on X this month:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

13 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

58 shares on Instagram this month:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Making waves on Discord:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Trending via Pinterest:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Trending via Threads:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Just landed via Snapchat:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Making waves on Threads:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Trending via YouTube:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨