“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

68 shares on Facebook this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.