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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Making waves on Reddit:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Making waves on YouTube:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Shared recently on TikTok:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Seen just now on Slack:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Freshly posted on X:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Just shared via TikTok:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

5 months ago

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Commentary:
You're the human embodiment of an "ugh" 🤦‍♂️☕️

9, 9 a.m., a.m., am, dislike, humor, Monday, morning, person, relatable, start, start of week, tired, week, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

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2 months ago

diet, eat, food, humor, skinny, someone, still, trust
“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

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2 months ago

again, comedy, fall, falling, humor, i, irony, procrastination, repetition, sarcasm, say, self-awareness, whatever
…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

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2 months ago

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Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

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2 months ago

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Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

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4 weeks ago

beer, called, drink, girl, healing, healing potion, humor, potion, try
Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

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2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Twitch this month:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Just shared via Threads:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Spotted on TikTok:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Just shared via Threads:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨