Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Freshly posted on X:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Trending via Messenger:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Trending via Facebook:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Breaking via Snapchat:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Live now on Threads:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Live now on Slack:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
You haven't experienced the joy of making a mixtape struggle session, and it shows! 🎶🔥💿

burning, cd, humor, media, music, never, nostalgia, outdated, outdated technology, shows, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

0

2 months ago

afford, commitment, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, making, me, money, panic, relationship, right, stop, wedding
Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

0

6 months ago

bed, bullshit, chores, daily, daily life, every, frustration, humor, i, life, morning, routine, single, things
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, doing, doing stuff, Googling, humor, just, learning, life, life skills, reality, responsibility, skills, stuff
The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

0

6 months ago

bad, bad singer, community, heart, humor, music, passion, people, self-expression, sing, singer, singing
Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

0

2 months ago

apologize, apology, comedy, critique, humor, job, nice, sarcasm, talent, too, workplace
How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

0

2 months ago

actually, adult, adult content, age, content, found, humor, innocence, love, old, people, porn, realization, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Threads this month:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Just landed via Slack:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Trending via YouTube:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Just shared via Twitch:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Making waves on TikTok:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨