Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.