Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Trending via Facebook:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Just shared via TikTok:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Going viral on X:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Spotted on X:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm trading my life preserver for a shovel because it's getting deep in here! 🤿🦺💩

am, bullshit, drowning, frustration, here, humor, i, irony, planet, sarcasm, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

0

2 months ago

character, choices, food, humor, i, irony, pizza, say, slice, someone, something, sometimes, trust, unexpected
Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

0

2 months ago

black, Black Friday, dating, deal, flirt, Friday, girl, humor, joke, line, pickup, pickup line, wondering
Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

0

2 months ago

bermuda, Bermuda Triangle, current, current events, disappear, events, humor, irony, just, much, mystery, news, too, triangle
I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

0

2 months ago

attempt, awkwardness, comedy, even, failure, Funny, humor, humor attempt, i, joke, joke failure, meeting, nobody, online, online meeting, social, social awkwardness, today, told, workplace, Zoom, Zoom meeting
I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

0

2 months ago

bigger, expectation, humor, i, joke, lot, microbiologist, science, size, today
I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

0

4 months ago

bridge, burning, conflict, humor, i, last, last bridge, love, me, relationship, revenge, sarcasm, smell, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Threads this month:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Just landed via Telegram:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Just landed via Slack:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Making waves on Telegram:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Making waves on Threads:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨