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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Trending via Messenger:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Going viral on Messenger:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Just landed via Snapchat:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Spotted on Telegram:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Just shared via Threads:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well… 🌊🍟🍔 Who knew the real treasure in the deep sea might be a secret underwater drive-thru? 🤔 Explorers, pack your scuba gear and let's search for that elusive McFish! 🏊‍♂️🔍 Just remember to check for saltwater pickles on your seaweed burger! 🤣 #McOceanDiscovery

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Just shared via Slack:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Breaking via TikTok:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Shared recently on Discord:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Just shared via Threads:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Going viral on Twitch:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Just shared via X:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

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