Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?
  • Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”
  • But that was my emotional support daylight.
  • Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.
  • Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?
  • I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.