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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

26 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Shared recently on X:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Trending via Reddit:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Just landed via Discord:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Live now on Twitch:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Just shared via Slack:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Just shared via Reddit:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Jan 26, 2025

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like your cat is just practicing its exorcism skills on the chair! 🐱😈 Who needs an alarm system when you have a feline ghostbuster on patrol? Just make sure to add garlic to your bedtime routine for extra protection! 😂🧄 #CatsOfTheParanormal"

again, asleep, back, bedroom, cat, chair, crucifix, empty, fall, fear, hate, hisses, holding, humor, i, pet, runs, sleep, superstition

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

26 minutes ago

3,465

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Just landed via Facebook:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Just landed via Facebook:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Making waves on Instagram:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Just shared via Threads:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Spotted on Telegram:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

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