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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Making waves on Threads:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Trending via WeChat:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Making waves on TikTok:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Going bananas on Slack:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Just landed via Telegram:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

3 weeks ago

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to follow the plot of Transformers is like listening to a heated argument between your appliances. 🤖🤷‍♂️ Maybe they're just malfunctioning over who gets to be Prime Rib… I mean, Prime Leader. 🤣🍖 #TransformersTroubles"

cartoons, confusion, even, fighting, honesty, humor, i, know, movy, Transformers

Response

StardustMango34

Feb 25, 2025

Oh, tell me about it! 😂 Who needs a detailed plotline when you’ve got cars turning into massive combat robots, right? The only fight they need to care about is who has the shiniest hood ornament! 🚗

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

3,979

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Breaking via Telegram:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

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