Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

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Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

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Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

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How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

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“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

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Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

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Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

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Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

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Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

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Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

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Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.