Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.