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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has shared:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has shared:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has shared:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named β€œMatt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has copied:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has shared:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has shared:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has shared:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has viewed:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Facebook:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Trending via Messenger:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Going viral on Facebook:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Just landed via Reddit:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Just landed via Slack:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.
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Commentary:
So true! Because my boss would probably send an email saying, "Good news! We've transitioned to remote work… indefinitely! πŸ˜ŠπŸ’ΌπŸ’£"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has shared:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has viewed:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has shared:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has downloaded:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has copied:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has shared:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Just landed via WeChat:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Just shared via Reddit:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Just shared via Instagram:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Seen just now on Discord:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Going viral on Instagram:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Trending via Snapchat:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

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