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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1859 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,021

Funny Quotes Topics

14,814

Funny Quotes Images

12,021

Updated

42 seconds ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Making waves on Facebook:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Spotted on Messenger:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Shared recently on Telegram:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Breaking via Threads:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Making waves on Reddit:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Going viral on Twitch:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.
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Commentary:
Imagine if they started critiquing their own angles—"Really, another one of my nap face?" 🐾📱😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1859 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,021

Funny Quotes Topics

14,814

Funny Quotes Images

12,021

Updated

42 seconds ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Just landed via X:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Breaking via Discord:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Making waves on Facebook:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Just shared via Instagram:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

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