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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Shared recently on Discord:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Making waves on Instagram:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Freshly posted on Discord:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Going viral on Twitch:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Just shared via Slack:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Making waves on YouTube:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

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A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.
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Commentary:
When Netflix becomes your unofficial third wheel 🍿📺💤

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

26 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

12 shares on X this month:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Spotted on Threads:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Just shared via Messenger:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Trending via Instagram:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Just landed via Slack:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Just shared via Messenger:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

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