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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

The government even made aliens boring.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

46 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Facebook:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Just shared via Instagram:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Spotted on Facebook:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Trending via Discord:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Seen just now on Slack:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

6 months ago

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Welcome to the most terrifying interactive haunted house experience yet! 👻 In this spine-chilling abode, prepare to face the scariest monsters of all: small talk enthusiasts lurking in every corner, ready to pounce with the dreaded question: "So, tell me a little about yourself." 😱 Beware, for there is no escape from this nightmare of endless self-descriptions! Enter if you dare… and don't forget your elevator pitch! 🏚️💬

asking, every, haunted, house, little, room, say, someone, something, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.
6 months ago
Share → : If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.
2 hours ago
Share → : Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.
6 months ago
Share → : Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.
6 months ago
Share → : I put the hot in psychotic.
6 months ago
Share → : Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.
6 months ago
Share → : lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.
5 months ago
Share → : For the record, I use a turntable.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

46 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Going viral on Instagram:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Trending via Telegram:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Spotted on YouTube:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Trending via Facebook:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

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