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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,412

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Going viral on Discord:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Live now on TikTok:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Spotted on Instagram:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Just landed via X:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Seen just now on Reddit:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

2 months ago

0

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Welcome to the most terrifying interactive haunted house experience yet! 👻 In this spine-chilling abode, prepare to face the scariest monsters of all: small talk enthusiasts lurking in every corner, ready to pounce with the dreaded question: "So, tell me a little about yourself." 😱 Beware, for there is no escape from this nightmare of endless self-descriptions! Enter if you dare… and don't forget your elevator pitch! 🏚️💬

asking, every, haunted, house, little, room, say, someone, something, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

0

2 months ago

avocado, celebration, cheers, food, humor, kitchen, perfectly, ripe, woman
The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

0

6 months ago

art, curiosity, fine, humor, meddling, nose, sticking, where
Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

0

2 months ago

5pm, blink, getting, humor, relaxation, short, shorter, Sunday, time, weekend
My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

0

2 months ago

bar, beer, beers, consumption, furniture, Gjörfbunkle, humor, i, IKEA, least, meant, opinion, purchase, shopping, should, think, three
Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

0

2 months ago

commuting, driver, driving, fault, front, frustration, guy, humor, impatience, jam, road, traffic, traffic jam
Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

0

2 months ago

dehydration, drinking, humor, i, problem, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

55 shares on Discord this month:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Making waves on Facebook:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Making waves on Instagram:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Live now on Messenger:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Trending via Slack:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

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