Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Trending via Twitch:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Making waves on Telegram:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to relive high school popularity is like trying to fit into your old prom outfit—tight and slightly embarrassing 🤔👗😅

adult, adults, behavior, chasing, humor, missed, nostalgia, popularity, social, social status, status, teenager, teenagers, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

0

2 months ago

General, humor, manipulation, news, only, psychological, psychological manipulation, public, should, study, time, watch, works
If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

0

2 months ago

banter, cause, family, house, humor, insult, kids, playful, playful banter, roast, soft, toughness
I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

0

2 months ago

exercise, exercising, fitness, humor, i, laziness, love, much, not exercising, wish
*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, death, erase, erase existence, existence, fake, fake death, Google, humor, Monday, morning, online, online search, own, procrastination, search
Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

0

2 months ago

drink, every, feel, feeling, hangover, humor, i, just, morning, realize, self-deprecating, think, wake, wake up
The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

0

2 months ago

communication, expectations, humor, man, relationship, surprise, tell, time, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Discord this month:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

For the record, I use a turntable.

19 shares on Slack this month:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

76 shares on X this month:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

68 shares on X this month:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Shared recently on WeChat:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Live now on Instagram:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨