Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Going viral on X:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Going viral on Twitch:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Trending via Telegram:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Making waves on X:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Just landed via Facebook:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Trending via Telegram:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Funny quote about men draining joy from life with a witty, dark humor tone.
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Commentary:
Wow, who needs a cure for cancer when you've got that kind of optimism! 😆🔬➡️🐢💨

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

41 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

38 shares on X this month:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

58 shares on X this month:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

24 shares on X this month:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

The adult in the room just addressed the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Just landed via WeChat:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Spotted on TikTok:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Just shared via Messenger:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Spotted on Discord:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Shared recently on Slack:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

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