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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,226

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Trending via Instagram:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Seen just now on Threads:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Freshly posted on X:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Going bananas on Reddit:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Going viral on TikTok:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling like a forgotten tab left open in the browser of life! 😂🖥️📄

am, computer, document, humor, i, identity, joke, just, question, tech, tech joke, untitled, Untitled Document

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

0

5 months ago

better, communication, ex, humor, i, misunderstanding, most, mumble, osbourne, ozzy, Ozzy Osbourne, relationship, still, through
Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, couple, humor, marriage, married, means, relationships, rooms, shouting
I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

0

2 months ago

am, hate, humor, i, morning, photosynthesis, sarcasm, saying, shining, sun, wake, wake up
I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

0

2 months ago

always, attitude, confidence, everyone, hate, hotter, humor, i, me, self-love
Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

0

2 months ago

48, 48 hours, care, challenge, deodorant, hours, humor, hygiene, just, mean, personal, personal care, smell
You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

0

4 months ago

billionaire, closer, commentary, ever, humor, proximity, social, social commentary, street

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Discord this month:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

70 shares on Threads this month:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

87 shares on X this month:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Live now on TikTok:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Trending via Slack:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Going viral on Reddit:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Going viral on Twitch:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Shared recently on X:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Spotted on Facebook:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨