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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Live now on X:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Breaking via Instagram:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Spotted on Instagram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Live now on Telegram:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the liquid courage translation service strikes again! 🥂🗣️😅

alcohol, drinking, honesty, humor, say, think, vodka, whisper

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

0

2 months ago

close, closer, connectivity, digital, friends, friendship, humor, keep, life, media, modern, modern life, smartphone, social, social media, technology
A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

0

5 months ago

attitude, hard, humor, just, optimist, personality, perspective, pessimist, playing, playing hard to get
You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, cool, fitness, humor, perception, running, self-image, think, video, yourself
I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

0

2 months ago

age, humor, life, life stage, perspective, self-deprecation, stage, teenager
I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

0

2 months ago

attention, best, humor, irony, noticed, psychology, relationship, want
Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

0

2 months ago

call, crazy, happy, humor, me, people, positivity, self-perception, twist

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on TikTok this month:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not my room, not my elephant.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Coffee is just goth water.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Going viral on WeChat:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Trending via Discord:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Just landed via Facebook:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Shared recently on Instagram:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Making waves on Telegram:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Seen just now on TikTok:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨