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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Seen just now on Discord:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Live now on X:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Just shared via Telegram:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Going viral on X:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

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And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.
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Commentary:
Passing on the most precious legacy… a treasure trove of digital bedtime stories! 📚😂💻

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on YouTube this month:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

34 shares on X this month:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,373

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Shared recently on X:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Spotted on Twitch:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Trending via Facebook:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Making waves on Messenger:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

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