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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Going viral on Threads:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Going viral on Facebook:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Trending via Discord:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Trending via Telegram:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Live now on X:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Live now on Reddit:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Passing on the most precious legacy… a treasure trove of digital bedtime stories! 📚😂💻

digital, digital file, file, grandchild, grandchildren, humor, i, inheritance, leave, PDF, procrastination, unread

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

0

2 months ago

direction, drunk, gardening, growing, humor, nature, plant, silliness
You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

0

2 months ago

always, both, kids, know, scissors, where
When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

0

2 months ago

behavior, brag, bragging, humor, i, irony, mean, people, self-deprecation, social, social behavior
Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

0

2 months ago

discomfort, excuse, feels, humor, i, right, sensory, sock, sorry, talk, weird
Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

0

2 months ago

before, horrible, humor, i, live, living, mindset, sarcasm, should, someone, speak, think
I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

0

2 months ago

dream, humor, i, joke, relationship, sarcasm, stupid, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

65 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

95 shares on Slack this month:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Trending via Facebook:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Breaking via Twitch:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Making waves on Discord:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Just shared via YouTube:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Spotted on Facebook:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Spotted on WeChat:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Trending via Snapchat:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨