Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Making waves on X:

British people be like “YouChube.”

Spotted on Threads:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Spotted on Facebook:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Seen just now on Threads:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Trending via Reddit:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Just shared via Facebook:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

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Commentary:
Surviving a pandemic just to botch a cake recipe—where do I collect my adulting trophy? 🏆🍰🙈

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

26 shares on Threads this month:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

33 shares on Threads this month:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

43 shares on Threads this month:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

41 shares on Discord this month:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Just shared via Instagram:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Live now on Facebook:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Making waves on Discord:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Breaking via Slack:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

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