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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Breaking via X:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Making waves on Facebook:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm still trying to grow one, but all I got was a plant that demands expensive coffee. 🌱☕💸

anyone, finance, gardening, grow, humor, know, money, question, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

1 month ago

cape, humor, lazy, procrastination, relaxation, super, today
The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

1 month ago

being, emotional, emotional state, final, humor, independence, irony, listen, loneliness, love, love song, mind, point, relationship, single, singleness, solitude, song, stage, state
Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

1 month ago

boxed, collector’s, collector’s edition, edition, everything, family, humor, i, illness, meant, mental, mental illness, parent, parents, sarcasm, set
Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

4 months ago

bat, bats, catharsis, feel, gothic, humor, imagination, manor, send, Transylvania, vampire
Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

1 month ago

coined, humor, repetition, term, wordplay
Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

1 month ago

being, business, hate, here, humor, imagine, irony, just, lazy, me, minding, minding business, over, own, self-awareness

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Just landed via Reddit:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Just landed via WeChat:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Going viral on Reddit:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Spotted on Facebook:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Going bananas on X:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

In banana years, I am bread.

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

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Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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