Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Just landed via Slack:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Going viral on TikTok:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Going viral on Telegram:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Making waves on Instagram:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm still trying to grow one, but all I got was a plant that demands expensive coffee. 🌱☕💸

anyone, finance, gardening, grow, humor, know, money, question, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

2 months ago

attraction, man, mentality, problem-solving, sexiest, sexiness, thing
Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

2 months ago

comedy, commitment, destroy, destroying, humor, job, life, partnership, person, relationships
Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

2 months ago

beauty, haircut, healthcare, humor, medical, satire, self-care, should, wellness
Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

2 months ago

asexual, companionship, found, friend, humor, irony, just, me, only, relationship, using
A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

1 week ago

degree, Dothraki, education, fantasy, fantasy language, humor, international, international law, joke, language, law, real
Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

3 months ago

diet, eat, food, humor, skinny, someone, still, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

37 shares on Threads this month:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

34 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Trending via Threads:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Going bananas on X:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Seen just now on Discord:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨