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Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Seen just now on Facebook:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Just shared via Twitch:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Live now on Telegram:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

2 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text asking about growing a money tree, playful and witty in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm still trying to grow one, but all I got was a plant that demands expensive coffee. 🌱☕💸

anyone, finance, gardening, grow, humor, know, money, question, tree

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95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

13 shares on Threads this month:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

37 shares on Discord this month:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I have a yearning disability.

Live now on Threads:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Going viral on Twitch:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Going bananas on X:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

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Activity Log ✨

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨