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Commentary:
"From fearing the Bermuda Triangle to wanting a one-way ticket there… that's what we call evolution! 🌀✈️ Who knew the mysterious allure of vanishing could become a life goal!? 😂 #AdultingGoals"

actually, adult, adult humor, bermuda, Bermuda Triangle, childhood, childhood fear, choices, crisis, disappearing, existential, existential crisis, fear, forever, humor, i, kid, life, life choices, random, random thoughts, thoughts, triangle, wondering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

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2 months ago

aspirations, demons, dress, fashion, humor, mindset, want
Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

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2 months ago

budget, disappointment, financial, humor, lottery, money, plan, win
Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

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3 months ago

doing, everyone, expectation, girlfriend, goth, humor, personality, relationship, stereotype, things, wants
Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

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2 months ago

breathing, humor, interrupt, joke, rest, sleep, threat
They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

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2 months ago

body, health, humor, invention, keep, score, should
Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

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2 months ago

comfort, home, seat, seats, toilet, trust, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

55 shares on X this month:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

18 shares on X this month:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Going viral on Threads:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Just shared via Messenger:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Making waves on Instagram:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Making waves on Instagram:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Going viral on TikTok:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Broadcasted on X:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨