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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When you hear those magical words, it's like finding a comrade in the Procrastination Olympics! 😅📚🙌

comfort, ever, hear, humor, i, most, motivation, procrastination, starting, student, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

0

5 months ago

asking, awkward, awkward question, communication, conversation, dating, embarrassment, going, hear, humor, hunt, i, job, job hunt, job search, lot, promise, question, search, success
Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

0

2 months ago

argue, conversation, else, everyone, humor, i, introspection, just, me, myself, sarcasm, self, talk, wants, wit, yes
When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

0

5 months ago

documentary, door, doors, going, humor, lock, locked, locked door, mystery, night, oh, old, old person, person, small, small town, start, storytelling, town
Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, frustration, getting, honesty, humor, own, real, reality, self, tired
Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

0

2 months ago

boredom, first job, humor, job, lack, lack of task, normal, nothing, office, office work, task, work, working, workplace, workplace humor
Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

0

4 months ago

attitude, cynic, high, humor, idealist, only, personality, sarcasm, standard, standards

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Threads this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

88 shares on WeChat this month:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Freshly posted on X:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Just landed via Twitch:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Making waves on Slack:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Trending via Messenger:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Freshly posted on X:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Making waves on Messenger:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨