As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.