Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Just shared via Twitch:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Seen just now on Discord:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Making waves on Instagram:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Going viral on X:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Just landed via Telegram:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Just landed via Discord:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Going viral on YouTube:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the sun clocks in, my beer clock starts ticking—I'm just following the laws of fizz-ics! ☀️🍺😄

back, beer, drink, humor, i, science, soon, sun, want, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

0

3 days ago

afraid, anxiety, anyone, before, disposal, else, fear, fire, humor, left, match, normal, run, safety, still, under, used, water
As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

0

2 months ago

back, beer, drink, humor, i, science, soon, sun, want, weather
Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

0

2 months ago

1, accidental, accidental save, accidentally, computer, computer frustration, digital, digital life, dramatic, duplication, end, file, file duplication, file management, file saving, frustration, funny moment, humor, i, life, management, moment, save, saving, technology, technology humor, twice, worst
Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

0

2 months ago

activity, animals, appear, cool, experience, fun, hanging, hanging out, happen, just, lot, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, outdoor experience, outdoor fun, outside, start, stuff, things, wildlife
Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

0

2 months ago

absence, humor, intelligence, just, missing, people, screw, toolbox, whole
I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

0

2 months ago

appetite, cravings, dining, eat, food, humor, i, love, menu, reading, stuff, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on X this month:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

58 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Breaking via Reddit:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Just landed via Threads:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Live now on WeChat:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Just shared via Instagram:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Just landed via Slack:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?