Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Spotted on Discord:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Shared recently on Discord:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Going bananas on YouTube:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

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As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…
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Commentary:
Who knew I'd be trading clubbing for birding? At least these 'night owls' are quiet! 🦉👀😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

53 shares on Slack this month:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

60 shares on Slack this month:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You give my middle finger an erection.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Just landed via Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Trending via Twitch:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Breaking via Reddit:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Spotted on YouTube:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Breaking via Messenger:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Live now on Telegram:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

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