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Commentary:
"Who needs a full night's sleep when you can become a master of the power nap game! 😴💦 Age brings wisdom… and a lot more bathroom breaks! 🚽😂"

age, aging, breaks, humor, i, life, nap, pee, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

0

2 months ago

ahead, bears, evolution, fat, humans, months, say, scientists, sleep, summer
It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

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2 months ago

dysfunction, erectile, erectile dysfunction, hard, having, humor, intimacy, relationship, struggle
Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

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2 months ago

around, calory, count, diet, eating, fast, fast food, food, humor, joke, lifestyle
I hope this email kills us both.

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2 months ago

both, communication, email, frustration, hope, humor, i, sarcasm, stress, us, work
How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

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2 months ago

apple, Apple Watch, audible, audible sigh, burn, calorie, credit, exercise, fitness, humor, i, me, sarcasm, self-awareness, sigh, technology, think, watch
When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

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2 months ago

am, going, humor, i, me, morning, noon, people, problem, problem solver, regret, sarcasm, self-care, sleep, solver, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

98 shares on YouTube this month:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

39 shares on Telegram this month:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

83 shares on Instagram this month:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Freshly posted on X:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Trending via TikTok:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Spotted on TikTok:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Breaking via Facebook:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Just landed via Telegram:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Making waves on Instagram:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

I hope this email kills us both.

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨