Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Having a chat with yourself at the self-checkout? Just remember, even if you annoy yourself, at least you're always guaranteed some laughs! 🤣🛒 #TalkingToMyself #SelfCheckoutStruggles"

anxiety, awkward, awkward moment, conversation, humor, i, introvert, just, moment, myself, self-checkout, shopping, shut, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fries, not lies.

0

2 months ago

comedy, food, food preference, fry, honesty, humor, ly, preference
It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

0

2 months ago

Caesar, caesar salad, cooking, eat, food, food humor, funny food, humor, joke, salad, stab, times
I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

0

2 months ago

am, cancel, entertain, humor, i, invite, me, social, someone
Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, daily, daily struggle, feelings, great, humor, internet, life, line, mistake, mixed, mixed feelings, online, online life, struggle, walking
When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

0

2 months ago

comfort, expression, foam, forget, frustration, humor, memory, memory foam, never, pillow, scream, sleep
A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

0

2 months ago

clever, clever man, closet, clothes, fit, humor, jealousy, man, other man, relationship, wife’s, wife’s closet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

20 shares on Discord this month:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

38 shares on Slack this month:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Just landed via Instagram:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Just shared via TikTok:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Making waves on TikTok:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Freshly posted on X:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Fries, not lies.

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨