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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Going viral on Reddit:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Just shared via Reddit:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Trending via TikTok:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Going viral on WeChat:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Making waves on Twitch:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Making waves on Reddit:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Spotted on Messenger:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Just shared via Snapchat:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

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At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Therapist: "How are you today?"
Me: "Let's not sweat the small stuff. Or the big stuff. 😂🤷‍♂️🛋️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Threads this month:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

13 shares on Threads this month:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Just landed via Messenger:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Going viral on Instagram:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Freshly posted on X:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Trending via Facebook:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Going viral on Twitch:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Going viral on Twitch:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

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