Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Shared recently on Slack:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Going viral on X:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you want to eat healthy but also party like a rockstar 🥗🍷🎉

bag, bag of salad, boxed, boxed wine, comparison, food, food comparison, humor, salad, vegetable, vegetables, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

0

2 months ago

90s, alive, battle, competition, humor, music, nostalgia, rap, still, survival, tell
My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

0

3 months ago

ambition, bed, humor, influence, laziness, me, motivation, procrastination, relatable, sleep
You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

0

2 months ago

donate, fundraising, humor, joke, just, marathon, money, never, people, run, sarcasm, should, take
A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

0

2 months ago

confidence, conversation, dating, DM, flirt, humor, man, media, real, social, social media, timeline
I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

0

2 months ago

AI, care, desperation, humor, i, immigrant, job, me, need, relief, sarcasm, someone, take, work
Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

0

2 months ago

around, carefree, ease, excuse, humor, humorous, humorous excuse, i, imagination, late, lateness, mind, relaxation, relief, sorry, stress, stress relief, travel, troubled, walk, wandering, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Threads this month:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

50 shares on Threads this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Going bananas on Threads:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Just shared via X:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Spotted on Messenger:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Breaking via YouTube:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Spotted on Reddit:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Just landed via Instagram:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨