Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Making waves on Facebook:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Just shared via Threads:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Going bananas on Slack:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Breaking via Facebook:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Making waves on WeChat:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Live now on Facebook:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Seen just now on Threads:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Proof that even strong women can't shake their loyal bathroom buddies 🐾🚪🤣

bathroom, behind, dog, every, follows, humor, independence, independent, pet, strong, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, ID, me, media, sarcasm, self-awareness, social, social media, stalk, stalking, too
Shazam but for random noises outside.

0

2 months ago

creativity, humor, noise, outside, random, random noise, Shazam, sound, superhero
I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, anything, behavior, carefree, cat, confusion, front, frustration, house, house cat, humor, i, me, shit, simplicity, slap, understand, want
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

0

2 months ago

cookie, humor, i, indulgence, just, minute, movie, procrastination, self-deception, tell
Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

0

2 months ago

avoid, bacon, beliefs, diet, food, humor, i, irony, people, preference, religion
If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

0

2 months ago

food, fridge, humor, late, light, logic, night, snacking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Half princess, half menace.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

50 shares on Threads this month:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

83 shares on WeChat this month:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Just shared via WeChat:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Just landed via Threads:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Going viral on Twitch:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Live now on Twitch:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Shazam but for random noises outside.

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨