Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

357 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,626

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,626

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Spotted on Reddit:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Spotted on YouTube:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Live now on Messenger:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize the elephant's been paying rent all along! 🐘🏠😄

animal, awkward, awkward situation, elephant, funny observation, humor, joke, metaphor, natural, observation, room, situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

3 months ago

argument, camel, convince, difficulty, eye, humor, irony, needle, online, opinion, pass, somebody, wrong
Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

6 months ago

bathroom, centaur, creature, difficulty, humor, hygiene, mythical, mythical creature, wipe
It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

2 months ago

always, cute, emotions, fire, house, humor, irony, mad, relationship
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

4 weeks ago

among, clothing, divorce, divorce rate, humor, joke, rate, relationship, sock, socks
I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

3 months ago

breakup, broke, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, joke, just, relationship, working, workout
Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

2 months ago

great, imagine, just, life, pizza, skinny

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Manifesting you in my bed.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Live now on Pinterest:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Trending via Pinterest:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Just landed via Threads:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Trending via Messenger:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Spotted on WeChat:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Just shared via Twitch:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨