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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

โ€œShe’s so self-centeredโ€โ€”who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Most people think that T-Rexes canโ€™t clap because they have short arms, but really itโ€™s because theyโ€™re dead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

I said it was my favorite show, I didnโ€™t say it was good.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Slack:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I donโ€™t know how this works.

Trending via TikTok:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Going viral on YouTube:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Trending via YouTube:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Humorous quote about noticing the oversized elephant in the room.
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Commentary:
When you realize the elephant's been paying rent all along! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ˜„

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, Iโ€™m full of microplastics, but itโ€™s actually been helpful. Itโ€™s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

โ€œYouโ€™re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.โ€

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said โ€œless McDonaldโ€™sโ€, but Iโ€™m pretty sure I know what he meant.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My kids think Iโ€™m going to miss them when they leave for college, but Iโ€™ll be busy drinking my coffee while itโ€™s still hot.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

(Most depressed guy youโ€™ve ever met) Iโ€™m doing pretty good.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Brain, I know youโ€™re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Boyfriend hasnโ€™t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesnโ€™t want to connect. He doesnโ€™t want to build.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on Threads:

In my retweeting era, because Iโ€™m just speechless.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Just shared via Snapchat:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Friends with consequences.

Just landed via TikTok:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Spotted on YouTube:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Breaking via Reddit:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Trending via YouTube:

My brain doesnโ€™t sea typos until Iโ€™ve already hit send.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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