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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

No, baby, Iโ€™m not dumping you. Iโ€™m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people whoโ€™ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2148 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,310

Funny Quotes Topics

15,037

Funny Quotes Images

12,310

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Snapchat:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Shared recently on X:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Breaking via Twitch:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Shared recently on Slack:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Live now on Pinterest:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Just shared via Slack:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.
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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2148 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,310

Funny Quotes Topics

15,037

Funny Quotes Images

12,310

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

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Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Thereโ€™s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Donโ€™t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. Theyโ€™re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess Iโ€™ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Breaking via Messenger:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Trending via Slack:

I canโ€™t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Live now on Snapchat:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Making waves on Reddit:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like โ€œyour top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.โ€

Going viral on Telegram:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

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