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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has shared:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has shared:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has viewed:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has viewed:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has shared:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Reddit:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Just shared via WeChat:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Seen just now on X:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Just shared via TikTok:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Making waves on Discord:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Witty quote about social media fame versus reality, humorously comparing it to Monopoly wealth.
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Commentary:
Level up your Monopoly game before you flex, social media champ! πŸ˜ŽπŸ’ΈπŸƒ

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

55 shares on Discord this month:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

52 shares on X this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hope none of the people I vowed to β€œhelp hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has viewed:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has copied:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has downloaded:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has bookmarked:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has copied:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said β€œHey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40sβ€”you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Trending via Telegram:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Spotted on Instagram:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

Just shared via Instagram:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

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