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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Freshly posted on X:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Making waves on Slack:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Going viral on YouTube:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Just shared via Telegram:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Going viral on Telegram:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Trending via X:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.
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Commentary:
Level up your Monopoly game before you flex, social media champ! 😎💸🃏

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

39 shares on Threads this month:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

45 shares on Slack this month:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Going viral on Twitch:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Trending via Twitch:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Spreading quickly via X:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Seen just now on Threads:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Just landed via YouTube:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

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