Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Making waves on YouTube:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Going bananas on Slack:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Breaking via X:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Breaking via WeChat:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally figured out adulting: staying blissfully unaware and always having pizza ready! 🍕🤯

anxiety, being, being informed, done, ever, health, humor, information, information overload, informed, mental, mental health, overload, stress, thing, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

0

2 months ago

baby, Christmas, gift, holiday, humor, me, mental, mental stability, Santa, stability, tree, under, wish
You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

0

2 months ago

call, communication, humor, i, irony, listen, nagging, relationship, time
The feminine urge to start a coven.

0

3 months ago

coven, empowerment, female, female empowerment, feminine, humor, start, urge, witchcraft
Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

0

2 months ago

apparently, balls, frustration, humor, office, office humor, people, relief, stress, stress balls, stress relief, throwing, workplace
Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

0

2 months ago

bull, caffeine, digestion, drink, energy, energy drink, gas, give, humor, joke, me, punchline, red, Red Bull, wings
Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

0

4 weeks ago

diary, everything, fix, frustration, humor, i, lock, lock in, responsibility, task, tomorrow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on TikTok this month:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Muting morons is good for your health.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

97 shares on Threads this month:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

40 shares on Threads this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Trending via Telegram:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Going viral on Messenger:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Shared recently on Twitch:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Making waves on TikTok:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Spotted on Discord:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Seen just now on Slack:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨