Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Making waves on WeChat:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Just landed via WeChat:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Breaking via Slack:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Putting up motivational blockers like a pro! 🚫🔊🤣

anyone, attitude, blocker, blocking, humor, me, motivation, motivation blocker, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, doctor, food, holiday, humor, joke, pretty, Santa, stomach, sure
Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

0

2 months ago

ancestors, ancient, family, Funny, great, humor, joke, oh, sarcasm
When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

0

1 month ago

bedtime, fear, humor, i, night, past, scared, sleep
You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

0

2 months ago

20, age, humor, perspective, realization, realize, time, truly, twenty, young, youth
Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

0

2 months ago

animal, back, behavior, communication, else, every, house, leave, pet, pets, soon, time
Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

0

2 months ago

considerate, even, evil, humor, most, personality, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

14 shares on X this month:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

68 shares on Threads this month:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Shared recently on X:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Breaking via TikTok:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨