Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?