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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Live now on TikTok:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Spotted on Reddit:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Just landed via WeChat:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Making waves on X:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Live now on X:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Live now on YouTube:

Social media is mental suicide.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Pasta doesn't need a window to its soul. I trust the noodles! 🥸🍝🔍

believe, box, food, grocery, humor, i, need, packaging, pasta, plastic, plastic window, sarcasm, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

0

2 months ago

apologize, humor, i, issues, me, negativity, new, new year, past, relationships, resolution, start, year
This whole week could have been an email.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, productivity, week, whole, work
If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

0

2 months ago

bf, dating, gf, humor, i, ID, irony, relationship
That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

0

2 months ago

again, apartment, chores, clean, cleaning, dirty, everything, frustration, later, moment, routine, year
Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

0

3 months ago

advice, fine, girl, going, going through, humor, pregnancy, pregnant, reassurance, right, situation, through, whatever
Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

0

2 months ago

company, conversation, having, here, humor, insane, interaction, just, self-talk, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

54 shares on Reddit this month:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Just shared via Messenger:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Just shared via Discord:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Just landed via Instagram:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

This whole week could have been an email.

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨